George,
Was it Jif? If people can pronounce GIF as Jif, I guess I can pronounce Jif as Kraft *LOL*
Actually, CompuServe created the GIF format...then things spun off from there.
[Groan warning; this is bad, even for me!] Q: What do you get when you
eat too much peanut butter? A: ReeseÆs feces
It's the same color. :P
I would like to share you this joke about peanut butter but I won't. Because you might spread it.
I haven't had peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in a long time. Several years ago, I was taking part in an amateur radio special event station at
the local National Weather Service. This husband and wife were doing the
high frequency (HF) bands, and I was working the VoIP mode of Echolink.
One ham had the callsign suffix of PBJ -- and he said it stood for "peanut butter and jelly". The wife of the couple team busted a gut laughing!! <G>
I rarely eat chocolate anymore for the caffeine, although I like the
dark chocolate cookies, similar to Oreos. When told to delete my cookies,
I ate another Oreo. When told to toss my cookies, I put them in a Ziploc.
I went to the urologist today, and saw a cute female nurse practitioner
who "worked the front and back". <G> I think of 2 memes along this line:
1) A guy is sitting on the exam table, with C-Clamps around his hips,
holding his butt cheeks together. The doctor notes "Patient is reluctant
to have his prostate checked".
2) A frail old man is on the table in the exam room, and the doctor
walks in, with his fingers swollen. He slammed his hand in the car
door before coming to work, and he apologized for being late to do the
prostate check. I think I want to reschedule. <G>
Way back I boycotted a brand of bottled iced tea because the ads
annoyed me so much. I doubt I made any difference, but I had to do my bit. .
I quit drinking tea, because 2 years ago, I was drinking a half gallon
of diet green tea citrus a day, as a diuretic. The problem was that the caffeine shot my heart rate up to 155, and put me in the hospital twice
in a month, with atrial flutter...which evolved into congestive heart
failure. I had successful cardiac ablation surgery last August...it got
rid of the erratic heart beat, I was taken off the heart rate medication
after the surgery, and as soon as I finished the Eliquis (blood thinner),
I was taken off of that.
The problem now is that I'm on Lasix to prevent fluid building up
around my heart and elsewhere...and (this may be TMI), the "you use
it or lose it" is valid. But, I'm not wanting implants, etc. -- never
mind "the little blue pill is expensive".
On that line, ventriloquist Jeff Dunham was asking Walter about his
"love life", and he asked "Ever thought about taking one of those little
blue pills??". Walter replied "Cyanide?? I do, actually". <G>
It's all about being in love and making a mutual commitment (it's about the vows -- you make these solemn promises in front of friends, family
of both, AND God, to show how serious you're being.)
I've given up on relationships...although it's a bear to go through all
of this suffering in so many ways alone. I don't get company, and except
for the messages on the BBS, my ham radio traffic nets, and updating the website for square dancing, I'm isolated...and if I lose the computer, internet, and cellphone, I'm cut off from the outside world.
Another problem is that many clinics will NOT let you use either public transportation, or even a medical transportation service, to their clinic
where you're undergoing a procedure requiring sedation (EGD (upper GI), colonoscopy, etc.). You have to have a driver that'll sit there and wait
for you. The thing is, if you have no family to speak of, and all of your friends work during the day and have family of their own...that leaves you without transportation...and you basically can't get the procedure done.
I'm with that Jewish radio therapist who says divorce is acceptable
only for the "3 As": Abuse, Abandonment, & Addiction. My argument in these cases is you are not breaking the marriage, you are merely acknowledging that the contract is broken already by the other, then getting on with your life.
The only Scriptural reasons for a Christian to seek divorce, are abuse, desertion, and infidelity.
Marriage between man & woman is not a true covenant in this world: it's just a contract held together by mutual commitment to vows. But if you aim higher, you achieve higher -- lots of young couples are today
looking to understand covenantal marriage, & I hope they do
understands it & it helps them hold together love for life.
There was a joke that in Old Testament times, if the wife burned the
toast, the man could get a writ of divorce.
My promise to my wife wasn't just to not leave & to not fool around, it was to do my part to keep us both satisfied with being married. Her,
too. . . :)
Janice and I had the trust and commitment with each other...so that even
if someone of the opposite sex gave us a hug or a kiss...while we'd razz
the daylights out of each other <G>, we knew which side the bread was
buttered on. Or as the country song noted "I've got all the love a man
could want, waiting for me at home".
Kool-Aid is a bad response to hot peppers, as it's mainly water -- you want dairy -- ideal is buttermilk, followed drinkable yoghurt, then by whole milk, the milk of any kind.
I haven't had dairy products in ages. The one thing with the Kool-Aid
that I mix up is that I haven't had a single kidney stone in 3 1/2 years.
Q: Why did the cowboy adopt a Dachshund? A: He wanted to get a long
little doggie
Or the classic commercial from Sprint cellphones. The guy had such
noisy phone lines with his current carrier...he ordered a hundred oxen;
he got sent a hundred dachshund. Weiner dog stampede!! <G>
Q: You know what's best about owning both a dachshund and a
convertible? A: You can ride around topless with your wiener out.
I saw a meme of this birthday card for a woman, noting "For your birthday,
I thought you'd like to see a good looking man, with a nice weiner".
There's a handsome man, with a good looking dachshund, who says "You
look wonderful today". <G>
Two other dachshund birthday cards...
1) Have a happy birthday...or I'll pee behind the sofa!! <G>
2) Go ahead. Squirt me with mustard. I deserve it. I forgot your birthday. :P
The mother dachshund & her 11 pups were curled up on the electric
blanket. I mentioned to my wife: Looks like we have a 12-pack of hot
dogs on the bed.
Yep.
Everybody prioritizes to suit themselves. I used to smoke so certainly
ate a lot unhealthier with what little money that left me for
groceries. . .
The only things I want smoking or steaming is the food on the plate...
such as sizzlin' fajitas at Applebee's. I mentioned this at my cardiologist recently, and this young black nurse grinned, and said "That's what I'M
talkin' about!!" <G>
For breakfast, I used t get the egg McMuffin, no meat, substitute extra egg, & add slivered onion, leaf ;lettuce, & tomato - for a crunchy
veggie egg sandwich -- tasty & healthy.
I saw where they were giving away french fries on July 13, National Fry
Day. I didn't even bother with it.
I far prefer Tim Horton's for breakfast; I get: wrap containing:
Is that a restaurant chain??
Do you get both? The $5 dropped(thus the last ride's call-out never happened, plus another $5 off the new ride?) & then $5 off the next
ride, or it just gets transferred over & you pay the minimum pickup fee for the first?
They pay the $5 cancellation fee, then take $5 off the new ride, if I
book it within 10 minutes. I've told them to NOT pair me with a driver
that has a high ground clearance (i.e. pickup trucks or tall SUV's).
I really thought becoming a Lyft driver would be worthwhile, But I have nothing to chauffeur it.
They are better than Uber, IMO.
Contactless Delivery: is that when the OB/GYN puts the mother-to-be at
the end of the table, with a pillow below & tells her to push, while
he tries to use telekinesis to help her?
Sounds like we gave birth to a new phenomenon. <G>
Daryl
... Friends Don't Let Friends Drive Naked.
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