......... as a public service for all harried sysops, is a
standard disclaimer form, much like the "fine print" at the
bottom of an automobile commercial:

This BBS is an "as-is" service. Neither the sysops, the school
district, the Pope, Rush Limbaugh, or God HIMSELF will be held liable if
the BBS does any of the following: Crashes, shuts down with or without
warning, decides it doesn't like you, smokes profusely, makes that
"chk-chk" noise like a broken washing machine, shoots sparks, causes a
total nuclear holocaust, spins around several times and vomits pea soup,
gives off "Bad Vibes," plays "Daisy" repeatedly, steals your boyfriend/girlfriend, falls in love with and begins humping your floppy
disk drive, or spontaneously combusts.

Do not operate heavy machinery after using this BBS. This BBS may
cause drowsiness, dizziness, heart palpitations, shortness of breath,
angina, temporary blindness, loss of consciousness, seizures, skin
rashes, nausea, vomiting, the involuntary playing of Elvis songs,
bloating, water retention, and/or spontaneous transformation into small woodland forest creatures. We are not responsible for emotional damage resulting from use of this BBS. Repeated and prolonged usage may cause paranoia, confusion, feelings of despair or ebullience, or a "Bad Hair
Day." This BBS contains no user serviceable parts; see licensed
technician before removing cover or striking. No lifeguard on duty.

For children under 12, give half usual dosage. May be habit forming.
No refunds or exchanges. Failure to follow appropriate safety
precautions can and may result in mutilation or death. Contents under
extreme pressure; do not puncture or incinerate this BBS. Void where prohibited. State and local taxes may apply. Avoid contact with eyes or
mucous membranes. Not responsible for demonic possession and/or control
of users.

Read all instructions before using this BBS. This service not
available in all areas. This BBS is not a bank or insured by the FDIC.
If skin rash or other irritation develops, discontinue usage and contact
your physician immediately. Do not use this BBS while bathing. For
EXTERNAL use only. Not responsible for lost or misplaced mail or other
personal items.

Any resemblance to any persons living or dead is purely coincidental.
No warranties are either express, or implied. Do not use this BBS under
the influence of mind-altering drugs and/or alcohol unless those
substances have already kicked in. For best results, time your
medications properly. Not responsible for psychiatric care needed as a
result of using this BBS. In case of accidental ingestion, do not
induce vomiting.

Not responsible for incidental or consequential damages, or for acts
of God. It is illegal in some states to use this BBS while sleeping.
Temporary insanity may result from the use/misuse of this BBS. The
Supreme Court has ruled that using this BBS while performing surgery may
be a violation of Federal Laws and restrictions.

This disclaimer is not valid in Borneo, Outer Mongolia, on any day
ending in "Y" of months which do not end in "R," and within five miles
of the lower Volga River. Void where applicable by law. Do not fold,
spindle or mutilate. Try not to step on the cracks. Avoid overdusting.
DO NOT IMMERSE IN WATER!
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)

I'm trying to get the system to busy itself out to run the nightly
doorgame maintenance, but it won't do it. So, I have to take the BBS
down manually. I did see an email from digital man (Rob Swindell), the
author of Synchronet, but I haven't gotten to it in the QWK packet yet.
The thing is, during maintenance, accessing an item (message bases,
file areas, or doors), can corrupt things big time.

That's why you have maintenance times, with no access during that time (2 hours?); pretty standard stuff with BBSes--is why I prefer to call first thing in the morning & avoid such. . .

I'm not here to create problems.

funnies, dammit, funny in every post!

I'm sure those into slapstick are laughing about your sore foot & butthole, but, come on, that's cheaping out. . .

Gout is bad -- I have the sae base condition (too much uric acid) but in me it cases kidney stones. Allopurinol helps melt the buildup before it gets high.

Taking 20-40 mEq of Potassium Citrate daily helps de-acidify the body.

I'm mostly clear now of stones (whew, Im telling you!)

I'm going to gout on a limb here & say your gout is causing one or more of your big toes to hurt. . .

You know you have gout whenà you look down at your foot and think, ôHoney, our lava lamp is leaking!ö 🔥

Why donÆt they serve alcohol at gout support groups? Because itÆs a toe-tally bad idea! 🍻🚫

My friend asked me if my gout was hereditary. I told him, ôHopefully not, or my kids are getting some very uncomfortable shoes!ö 👞

WhatÆs the official dance of gout sufferers? The CanÆt-Can! 💃🚫

Did you hear about the new gout-themed restaurant? ItÆs called ôThe Swollen Toe Inn.ö 🍽️🦶

Why are people with gout always so well-informed? They literally have access to foot-notes! 📚🦶

My friend said his gout was so bad, it was driving him up the wall. I told him, ôThatÆs easy for you to say, you can walk.ö 🚶‍♂️🚫🚶

What do you call a dinosaur with gout? A Tyrannosaurus aches!

Chow for niao! & a happy new year to you, my friend!

--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-7
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)

George,

You forgot "even if it accesses your bank and moves your entire balance
off-shore 'somewhere'; this nly happens, t ops, TOPS, one a week, so
not to worry. . . you've paid your insurance rto tyhe sysop, right?

It took me a minute to figure out your reply...then I looked at the
subject line.
I got very little sleep last night, and had to go to the Emergency
Room at 5am this morning, with severe foot pain (I thought I had
fractured it), and severe rectal spasms (I thought my butt was on
fire).
It turns out I had an attack of gout (I already have arthritis all
through my body), and they gave me some medicine for the spasms. But,
I didn't want a renegade storm to come in while I was gone, so I had
shut the BBS down. When you tried to get in this morning, the system
was trying to run a message base utility, and that's why it said "you
have no time left".
I'm trying to get the system to busy itself out to run the nightly
doorgame maintenance, but it won't do it. So, I have to take the BBS
down manually. I did see an email from digital man (Rob Swindell), the
author of Synchronet, but I haven't gotten to it in the QWK packet yet.
The thing is, during maintenance, accessing an item (message bases,
file areas, or doors), can corrupt things big time.

Shame on you, you've been around long enough to know better!

You omitted a joke or funny/punny bit of content in your reply, unless the bit about you going to the hospiotal with a throbbing abnus & broken foot was intended to be for a laugh? You oughta know that if you try to kick your own arse, things can happen that might hurt, at your age. . .

BTW, I support you're coming gout of the closet about your condition.

"Didn't you say you had gout & couldn't even walk?"
(I stand corrected, as I've been to the doc.)

I'm taking Allopurinol, too, to dissolve uric acid buildup in my kidneys (leading to big honking painful stones); is that the drug they gave you?

I've old you that you need to wear your readers when reading the Bible; the quote is to separate the goats from the sheep, not the GOUTS!

--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-7
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)