Well the prediction is in!!!!!!!!!!!

Here ye! Here ye! Punxsutawney Phil has chirped — another six weeks
of winter will be!

As the Groundhog Day Phil-osophy goes, if the groundhog sees his
shadow on the ground, the United States can expect six more weeks of
winter all around. If he decides to keep his head held high, then an
early spring will apply.

Around 7:25 a.m. on Wednesday, Phil saw his shadow and whispered the
fate of our nation’s winter in “groundhogese" to his Inner Circle
at Gobbler’s Knob, Pennsylvania. Over the course of his
meteorological career, the marmot predicted an extended winter around
85 percent of the time.

Snow!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sam


Bye for now...
Sam

--- Ezycom V3.00 01FB064B
* Origin: Deep Space Gateway BBS Running EZYCOM V3.0 (1:123/120)

Sam,

Here ye! Here ye! Punxsutawney Phil has chirped — another six weeks
of winter will be!

Or as the meme last year then noted "The groundhog said there'd be
6 more weeks of winter. So, I ate him". <G>

I understand that Staten Island Chuck did NOT see his shadow, so that
means an early spring.

I did not hear what General Beauregard Lee (in his antebellum mansion,
no less) in Atlanta, prognosticated.

I did hear of one groundhog named Mel...who was so terrified by what
he saw, that he fell over dead!!

As Bill Murray said in the movie "A thousand people freezing their
butts off, to look at a rodent. <G>

Daryl

... Free Idiot Test. Insert $5 to begin.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)

Or as the meme last year then noted "The groundhog said there'd be
6 more weeks of winter. So, I ate him". <G>

Well, He's just sausage (ground "hog," get it?

If his seeing his shadowcause 6 more weeks of winter, rather than the 6 weeks between Feb 2nd & Spring (Mar. 20) then let's prevent him seeing anything; Nurse, the hot poiker, please, & orderly,. his his little face steady for me.

Oh, kids, don't worry, there's plenty more vermin where this one came from...

I understand that Staten Island Chuck did NOT see his shadow, so that
means an early spring.

Only for those living there!

As Bill Murray said in the movie "A thousand people freezing their
butts off, to look at a rodent. <G>

Yup, I consider just that stupid.

Spring is near 6 weeks from Feb 2nd, no matter what a crowd favourite rat has to say otherwise. . .

My friend wanted to cosplay for Groundhog's Day. I told him to gopher it.

Q: How do you make a groundhog?
A: Use a meat grinder, same as for ground rabbit

Q: What would you call a razorback that obeys the laws of gravity? A: A ground hog

--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-5
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)

That thing enver knows what he is talking about...

Sam,

Here ye! Here ye! Punxsutawney Phil has chirped — another six weeks
of winter will be!

Or as the meme last year then noted "The groundhog said there'd be
6 more weeks of winter. So, I ate him". <G>

I understand that Staten Island Chuck did NOT see his shadow, so that
means an early spring.

I did not hear what General Beauregard Lee (in his antebellum mansion,
no less) in Atlanta, prognosticated.

I did hear of one groundhog named Mel...who was so terrified by what
he saw, that he fell over dead!!

As Bill Murray said in the movie "A thousand people freezing their
butts off, to look at a rodent. <G>

Daryl

... Free Idiot Test. Insert $5 to begin.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52

--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-5
* Origin: The ByteXchange BBS | bbs.thebytexchange.com (1:19/37)

George,

Well, He's just sausage (ground "hog," get it?)

If he was ground dog, he was playing with his weiner. :P

If his seeing his shadowcause 6 more weeks of winter, rather than the 6 weeks between Feb 2nd & Spring (Mar. 20) then let's prevent him seeing anything; Nurse, the hot poiker, please, & orderly,. his his little
face steady for me.

He's ALWAYS going to see his shadow, for the TV camera lights...whether
the sun is visible or not.

Spring is near 6 weeks from Feb 2nd, no matter what a crowd favourite
rat has to say otherwise. . .

And, meteorological spring is ALWAYS on March 1.

My friend wanted to cosplay for Groundhog's Day. I told him to gopher
it.

It reminds me of a Looney Tunes cartoon, where Porky Pig has his dog
named Mandrake (what a name for a dog) hunting groundhogs. The dog comes
upon Grover Groundhog, and when the dog realizes who just startled him,
he says "You're a Groundhog"...to which, the Groundhog hands him a dollar
bill, and says "That gets you one dollar. Would you care to try for two??"
<G>.

Q: How do you make a groundhog?
A: Use a meat grinder, same as for ground rabbit

Customer: This coffee tastes like mud.
Waiter: Well, it was ground this morning.

Q: What would you call a razorback that obeys the laws of gravity? A: A ground hog

It seemed like that for the football time that did very few passes.

Coach: Can you pass a football?
Kid: Only if I can swallow it.

Daryl

... Cinemuck - The popcorn/soda/candy melted all over the theater floor.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
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Chad,

That thing enver knows what he is talking about...

Maybe so...but it's a big tourism deal for the town.

Daryl

... On the other hand, you have different fingers.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)

Well, He's just sausage (ground "hog," get it?)

If he was ground dog, he was playing with his weiner. :P

Who hasn't?

Only women & liars. . .

And, meteorological spring is ALWAYS on March 1.

What is that -- spring is an astronomically defined event (beginning on the vernal equinox)

Why March 1?

Customer: This coffee tastes like mud.
Waiter: Well, it was ground this morning.

Classic. I've used a variation of that. ("If your coffee tastes like mud, it's because it was just ground after you ordered it")

My face diner trick is I'm abnle to balance a teaspoon in a coffee mug without putting sugaer orsalt at thew bottom -- it loks like the spoon is sticking straight up from the middle of the coffee; I call the waitress over & say, "Finally, you're making the coffee strong enough fort he morning shift!"

Occasaionally one has to stir to see if there's a pile of saugar at the bottom.

Q: Why did the coffee file a police report? A: It got mugged.

My barista didnÆt filter my coffee right. I issued her a restraining order.

Q: Why did the hipster burn his lips on coffee? A: He drank it before it was cool!

Q: Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee so much? A: Because they are Santa's star bucks!

Instead of water, I accidentally put RedBull in the the back of my coffee maker this morning.
I was halfway to work before I realized I forgot my car.

--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-5
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)

George,

Well, He's just sausage (ground "hog," get it?)

If he was ground dog, he was playing with his weiner. :P

Who hasn't?

Only women & liars. . .

And someone who hasn't learned about it yet. Besides, after peeing,
if you shake it more than twice, you're playing with it. :P

And, meteorological spring is ALWAYS on March 1.

What is that -- spring is an astronomically defined event (beginning on the vernal equinox)

Why March 1?

Meteorologically, the first of the month for the seasons is a "constant". With astronomical seasons, it varies between the 20th, 21st, and 22nd.
But, the season months are still the same...spring starts in March, summer starts in June...autumn (or fall, if you prefer) starts in September, and winter starts in December. Meteorologically, it's also better in recording weather data.

Classic. I've used a variation of that. ("If your coffee tastes like
mud, it's because it was just ground after you ordered it")

I never acquired a taste for coffee...and since giving up caffeine (it
set my heart rate racing), I rarely drink tea anymore. I think there is
such a thing as decaffineated (sp?) tea (there is for coffee).

My face diner trick is I'm abnle to balance a teaspoon in a coffee mug without putting sugaer orsalt at thew bottom -- it loks like the spoon
is sticking straight up from the middle of the coffee; I call the waitress over & say, "Finally, you're making the coffee strong enough
for the morning shift!"

What's this fly doing in my soup?? Looks like the backstroke to me. <G>

Occasaionally one has to stir to see if there's a pile of saugar at the bottom.

Not sure which is worse...the sugar or artificial sweetners.

Q: Why did the coffee file a police report? A: It got mugged.

Some people can't start their day without coffee and donuts. Just ask
the church folks on Sunday morning. :P

My barista didn't filter my coffee right. I issued her a restraining order.

Got to be thicker than toilet paper. :P

Q: Why did the hipster burn his lips on coffee? A: He drank it before
it was cool!

If he was blonde (blonde males do exist), you'd think he burned his lips
on the tailpipe trying to start his car. :P

Q: Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee so much? A: Because they are Santa's star bucks!

They were the two who ate plenty of baked beans for plenty of poo-pulsion
for their Christmas Eve runs. :P

Instead of water, I accidentally put RedBull in the the back of my
coffee maker this morning. I was halfway to work before I realized I forgot my car.

Or like Jeff Dunham's Peanut character...he was extremely buzzed and wired from a combination of NyQuil and RedBull.

Daryl

... Why don't potholes knock your tires back into alignment??
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)

Besides, after peeing,

if you shake it more than twice, you're playing with it. :P

It's MINE, & I'll wash it as fast & thoroughly as I want!

set my heart rate racing), I rarely drink tea anymore. I think there is
such a thing as decaffineated (sp?) tea (there is for coffee).

Yup, you can gert decaf pekoe or Earl Gray, or just drink tisane (clear herbal teas--most are non-caffeinated naturally; with green teas you got to check, as ost are non caffeine, but the expensive type the Japanese use for ceremonies has 6X the caffeine as a cup of coffee!

What's this fly doing in my soup?? Looks like the backstroke to me. <G>

Well, I still expect a partial refund for what he drank!

Not sure which is worse...the sugar or artificial sweetners.

Sugar isbn't BASD, it's just not overly good (7 calories for a tsp isn't going to kill you or make you get fat)

They use the same ingredients as in Nutrasweet to facilitate brainwashing into cults. I'll stick to the sugar in general. I prefer a dark brown to give a hint of rum flavour to my coffee.

God made sugar; man made Aspartame -- Whom do YOU trust?

Some people can't start their day without coffee and donuts. Just ask
the church folks on Sunday morning. :P

Some ministers encourage parishinoers to nbring their coffee in a travel mug & enjoy during the service, if that'll help them come more regularly & on time.

Most of us would rush the coffee urn in the meeting room after services, though. (not me -- the urn'd keep my coffee hot as I loaded up my plate with desserts/pastries!)

If he was blonde (blonde males do exist), you'd think he burned his lips
on the tailpipe trying to start his car. :P

*blond males; blonde females. ;)

Q: Why was the cheerleader's navel bruised? A: Her boyfriend was blond, too.

Or like Jeff Dunham's Peanut character...he was extremely buzzed and wired from a combination of NyQuil and RedBull.

He was or perpetually is?

Jeff: I understand you guys had a good day today? Peanut: Yes we had a great day!
Jose: No we did not.
Peanut: Yes
Jose: No
Peanut: Yes
Jose: No
Peanut: Yes
Jose: No we did not have a good day. Peanut: Yes we hhhaad...a great frickin' day! What?
Jeff: Did you have a good day?
Peanut: Yes
Jose: No
Peanut: Shut up
Jeff: A good day?
Peanut: Yes
Jose: No
Peanut: Shut up
Jeff: You're supposed to have taken him to the spa. Peanut: I took him to the spa!
Jose: He put me in the vegetable steamer. Peanut: It's the same thing!!!ö

Jeff: There's a lot of history in this city... Peanut: Translation: Old. As. Shit

Peanut: Too much starbucks coffee, coffee, coffee! Jeff: You didn't have coffee before the show! Peanut: I admit it was crack.
Jeff: You didn't do crack
Peanut: Then you did! It feels like one of us did! Peanut: Don't you do crack? Jeff: No! I'VE NEVER DONE CRACK!
Peanut: Alright. I admit Jeff does not abuse drugs. He's an alcoholic.
--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-5
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)

George,

if you shake it more than twice, you're playing with it. :P

It's MINE, & I'll wash it as fast & thoroughly as I want!

And in the cold, you need a microscope and tweezers to find it. <G>

Yup, you can gert decaf pekoe or Earl Gray, or just drink tisane (clear herbal teas--most are non-caffeinated naturally; with green teas you
got to check, as ost are non caffeine, but the expensive type the Japanese use for ceremonies has 6X the caffeine as a cup of coffee!

As noted in an earlier message, apparently a local grocery chain has
Lite Peach Tea, with NO CAFFEINE!! I'll have to get some at the store
this week, along with another loaf of wheat bread, and some more lunch
meat.

What's this fly doing in my soup?? Looks like the backstroke to me. <G>

Well, I still expect a partial refund for what he drank!

Better not be like bacteria...peeing and pooping in the yogurt. I guess
I'm trying to kill my appetite...as I haven't eaten all day. :P

Sugar isn't BASD, it's just not overly good (7 calories for a tsp
isn't going to kill you or make you get fat)

Is sugar bad if you're diabetic?? I know folks who are hypoglycemic
(sp?), they have to take peanut butter crackers if their blood sugar
gets too low. There is a new deal now (prescription required) where you
wear this patch on your body, and with this bluetooth app for your
smartphone, you can get your blood sugar and A1C readings without doing
the prick of your finger. It saves a ton of money on lancets as well as
alcohol swabs.

God made sugar; man made Aspartame -- Whom do YOU trust?

In God We Trust...all others require Photo ID. <G>

Some ministers encourage parishinoers to nbring their coffee in a
travel mug & enjoy during the service, if that'll help them come more regularly & on time.

They had some snacks in the new members class I was in today (I
joined a church in the rural part of the county), but I decided to
pass on the food and drink. Yet, I haven't eaten for 24 hours, and
am ravenous right now. But, between church this morning...doing Gospel
Poetry before and after church...then a ham radio net...and now the
QWK Mail, I haven't had a chance to eat. So, after I finish this REP
packet, I'm going to eat, and get away from the computer.

Q: Why was the cheerleader's navel bruised? A: Her boyfriend was blond, too.

Sad.

He was or perpetually is?

I guess both. :P

Jeff: I understand you guys had a good day today? Peanut: Yes we had a great day! Jose: No we did not.

Jeff: You're supposed to have taken him to the spa. Peanut: I took him
to the spa! Jose: He put me in the vegetable steamer. Peanut: It's the same thing!!!

Jose: Purple bastard!!
Peanut: Mexican condiment!!
Jeff: A condiment.
Jose: I don't use them.
Peanut: You don't??
Jose: And, neither did your mother!! <ZING!>

Peanut: Alright. I admit Jeff does not abuse drugs. He's an alcoholic.

It's amazing what he can get away with.

Daryl

... A male dog is truly an S.O.B. -- and acts like one, too!
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)

George,

if you shake it more than twice, you're playing with it. :P
It's MINE, & I'll wash it as fast & thoroughly as I want!

And in the cold, you need a microscope and tweezers to find it. <G>

Speaking for yourself, I guess. . .

Then there was the guy who could only find it by wearuing a jeweler's loupe, shaking pepper down there & grabbing the pubic hair that moved.

Better not be like bacteria...peeing and pooping in the yogurt. I guess
I'm trying to kill my appetite...as I haven't eaten all day. :P

How do they know when yoghurt goes bad? it's rotted milk to begin with!

My favourite urine to drink is the bacterium's that eats sugar & pees out alcohol. . .

Sugar isn't BASD, it's just not overly good (7 calories for a tsp
isn't going to kill you or make you get fat)

Is sugar bad if you're diabetic?? I know folks who are hypoglycemic
(sp?), they have to take peanut butter crackers if their blood sugar
gets too low. There is a new deal now (prescription required) where you
wear this patch on your body, and with this bluetooth app for your smartphone, you can get your blood sugar and A1C readings without doing
the prick of your finger. It saves a ton of money on lancets as well as alcohol swabs.

Well, for diabetes, the rules change, but for the rest of the world, it's demonized just so a few billionaires can keep adding to their already overfilled coffers.

God made sugar; man made Aspartame -- Whom do YOU trust?

In God We Trust...all others require Photo ID. <G>

In God we trust -- all others must pay cash.

I've seen this sign in many a country shop.

QWK Mail, I haven't had a chance to eat. So, after I finish this REP
packet, I'm going to eat, and get away from the computer.

Don't b e dong that -- it's not altogether healthy.

I aim for:
1/3 my day's food/calories for breakfast. 3/8 for lunch
1/8 for supper or an evening snack

Peanut: Alright. I admit Jeff does not abuse drugs. He's an alcoholic.

It's amazing what he can get away with.

Jeff's first big show was called "Arguing With Myself" -- sys it all, really!

He has quite the imaginatoin to create such memorable & consistent characters - - I don't consider all to be winners -- I'm not fond of the mincing superhero.

On to the ventricyulars. . .

I met a ventriloquist at a bar who told me I was attractive. I wasn't sure if it was her or the beer talking.

I'm a pretty good ventriloquist.
Even if I say so myself.

[Remember the "Unknown Comic" in the paper bag? I could pull off an Unknown Ventriloquist act, I'm sure.]

My uncle was a ventriloquist dummy. He died drinking furniture polish. It was a slow death but a beautiful finish.
--Ryan Stiles (Whose Line Is It Anyway?)

Today I learned that not all people are appreciative of ventriloquism. Especially my wifeÆs gynaecologist.

--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-5
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)

George,

Speaking for yourself, I guess. . .

Sort of like putting Alum on it, and you have a puny pecker. :P

Then there was the guy who could only find it by wearuing a jeweler's loupe, shaking pepper down there & grabbing the pubic hair that moved.

That's nothing to sneeze at. :P

How do they know when yoghurt goes bad? it's rotted milk to begin with!

True.

Well, for diabetes, the rules change, but for the rest of the world,
it's demonized just so a few billionaires can keep adding to their already overfilled coffers.

Big Pharma is making out like a bandit with this Covid-19 stuff. I saw
where Pfizer stands to make $54 billion in profit.

In God we trust -- all others must pay cash.

I've seen this sign in many a country shop.

Or you could demand photo ID. :P

Don't b e dong that -- it's not altogether healthy.

Today, after church, I had lunch...then after the ham radio nets, I
had dinner. Now, I'm doing QWK Mail before bed...I had 28 emails
waiting...and nearly 500 total messages in my packet.

He has quite the imaginatoin to create such memorable & consistent characters - - I don't consider all to be winners -- I'm not fond of
the mincing superhero.

Peanut was hyper...from Starbucks, NyQuil, and RedBull. :P

I met a ventriloquist at a bar who told me I was attractive. I wasn't
sure if it was her or the beer talking.

There was a ventriloquist who was telling blonde jokes with his dummy.
This blonde in the audience was furious, and starting yelling at him. To
which, she screamed "I'm not talking to you, mister!! I'm talking to the
person sitting on your leg". :P

I'm a pretty good ventriloquist.
Even if I say so myself.

It's not as easy as it looks.

[Remember the "Unknown Comic" in the paper bag? I could pull off an Unknown Ventriloquist act, I'm sure.]

Not offhand.

My uncle was a ventriloquist dummy. He died drinking furniture polish.
It was a slow death but a beautiful finish. --Ryan Stiles (Whose Line
Is It Anyway?)

There you go.

Today I learned that not all people are appreciative of ventriloquism. Especially my wife's gynaecologist.

It's Alive!! <G>

Ventriloquist Nina Conti had her monkey being a smart-@$$ when she was
at the gynecologist. :P

Daryl

... I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)

Big Pharma is making out like a bandit with this Covid-19 stuff. I saw
where Pfizer stands to make $54 billion in profit.

Yup, they've always been using theuir paid for politicians to maximize profit, like when they got Viagra approved, they gave the Sens on the FDA approva;s committee heads-up; every one invested $50M or more in Pfizer then approved it
-- 2 days later, they sold their stock for 500% profit or more!

Insider Trading, you'd think -- but the Insider Trading las explicityly exempts them! (but of COURSE!)

In God we trust -- all others must pay cash.
I've seen this sign in many a country shop.

Or you could demand photo ID. :P

Okay, Thomas! *G*

Today, after church, I had lunch...then after the ham radio nets, I
had dinner. Now, I'm doing QWK Mail before bed...I had 28 emails waiting...and nearly 500 total messages in my packet.

I've nbeen cutting my food intake drastically, as I know how rthe math works; if calories in < calories out, then I get fat. I cannot exercise, as I'm half paralyzed, so I need to make up for it by being extra brutal on the inputs.

I'm a pretty good ventriloquist.
Even if I say so myself.

It's not as easy as it looks.

No kidding -- I can do most of the letters, but not the super hard ones.

[Remember the "Unknown Comic" in the paper bag? I could pull off an
Unknown Ventriloquist act, I'm sure.]

Not offhand.

I'd put a paper grocery bag over my head & hod a puppet that also has a (smaller) papewer bag over his head. Nobody can accuse me of their seeing my lips move!

Today I learned that not all people are appreciative of ventriloquism.
Especially my wife's gynaecologist.

It's Alive!! <G>

I'd love to be in the room & see his reaction!

Ventriloquist Nina Conti had her monkey being a smart-@$$ when she was
at the gynecologist. :P

Nina's a hoot!

For the life of me, I could not get the sweet tea dispenser to work during my lunch.
I was having some difficultea.

Did you hear about the little native American boy who drank a gallon of sweet tea before bed?
They found him the next morning, drowned in his own teepee.

I showed up over dressed to a family member's party and my aunt spilled sweet tea all over my dress shirt. She solved my clothing problem Aunt Jay: I'm so sorry I ruined your nice shirt! Me: You didn't ruin it, you turned it into a tea-shirt for me!

Any time my brother or I order Sweet Tea at a restaurant, my dad says "Did you just call the waitress Sweetie?"

--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-5
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)

George,

I've nbeen cutting my food intake drastically, as I know how rthe math works; if calories in < calories out, then I get fat. I cannot
exercise, as I'm half paralyzed, so I need to make up for it by being extra brutal on the inputs.

Doctor: Do you do any exercise??

Patient: Like what??

Doctor: Bend down and touch your toes.

Patient: If God had wanted me to touch my toes, He would've put them on my knees. <G>

Did you hear about the little native American boy who drank a gallon of sweet tea before bed? They found him the next morning, drowned in his
own teepee.

I guess he wanted to keep his wigwam.

I showed up over dressed to a family member's party and my aunt spilled sweet tea all over my dress shirt. She solved my clothing problem Aunt Jay: I'm so sorry I ruined your nice shirt! Me: You didn't ruin it, you turned it into a tea-shirt for me!

Tea-riffic.

Any time my brother or I order Sweet Tea at a restaurant, my dad says
"Did you just call the waitress Sweetie?"

Really.

Daryl

... My dolphin puns are terrible on porpoise.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)

Doctor: Do you do any exercise??
Patient: Like what??
Doctor: Bend down and touch your toes.
Patient: If God had wanted me to touch my toes, He would've put them on my knees. <G>

Doctor: if God wanted you to be so obese your heart's about to explodce, He've designed the body's digestive processes better to not be so efficient with you giving it a proper healthy diet.

Did you hear about the little native American boy who drank a gallon of
sweet tea before bed? They found him the next morning, drowned in his
own teepee.

I guess he wanted to keep his wigwam.

The neighbours are fighting?
What happened?
Mrs O'Leary asked Mrs. McGillicuddy what does she do to provide a urine sample for the laboratory, & Mrs. M stold her to p*** in a cup, them Mrs. O told her to sh** in her hat & fight was on!
Why you telling me?
I want pocorn, but I don't want ot miss anything; would you be a dear a microwave one of those packets for me, please?

I showed up over dressed to a family member's party and my aunt spilled
sweet tea all over my dress shirt. She solved my clothing problem Aunt
Jay: I'm so sorry I ruined your nice shirt! Me: You didn't ruin it, you
turned it into a tea-shirt for me!

Tea-riffic.

Not Tie-dye, but tea-dye!

Any time my brother or I order Sweet Tea at a restaurant, my dad says
"Did you just call the waitress Sweetie?"

Really.

As rumoured -- good dad joke, though. . .

from parade.com

Which bear is the most condescending? A pan-duh! What kind of noise does a witchÆs vehicle make? Brrrroooom, brrroooom. WhatÆs brown and sticky? A stick.
Two guys walked into a bar. The third guy ducked. How do you get a country girlÆs attention? A tractor. Why are elevator jokes so classic and good? They work on many levels. What do you call a pudgy psychic? A four-chin teller. What did the police officer say to his belly-button? YouÆre under a vest. What do you call it when a group of apes starts a company? Monkey business. My wife asked me to stop singing ôWonderwallö to her. I said maybeà

--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-5
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)

George,

Doctor: if God wanted you to be so obese your heart's about to
explodce, He've designed the body's digestive processes better to not
be so efficient with you giving it a proper healthy diet.

Most people are full of crap aside from what they eat. :P

Mrs O'Leary asked Mrs. McGillicuddy what does she do to provide a urine sample for the laboratory, & Mrs. M stold her to p*** in a cup, them
Mrs. O told her to sh** in her hat & fight was on!

Or the doctor told the old man he wanted a urine sample, a sperm sample,
and a stool sample. The old man was hard of hearing, and his wife told him,
"he wants to see your underwear". :P

I want pocorn, but I don't want ot miss anything; would you be a dear a
microwave one of those packets for me, please?

I'll take the one with extra butter. :)

Daryl

... Does fuzzy logic tickle?
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I want pocorn, but I don't want ot miss anything; would you be a dear a
microwave one of those packets for me, please?

I'll take the one with extra butter.

Ewww. I'm only into the air-popped purpople pocorn (no bits getting in between my teetyhj or undr my wife's dentures. . . Tastes good, too -- no butter needed.

If I want flavour, I'll spray with olive oil cooking spray & sprinkle on some real Parmesan (not that Kraft salt-crap in a can) or some specially blended popcorn spice (pulverised dill+salt, e.g.)

But there's too much sodium in that latter, so real Parmesan, finely ground, is my fave.

Q: What's the highest rank in the popcorn army? A: Kernel

Q: Where do they grow popcorn?
A: In the mountains, because thatÆs where the ears are popping!

I don't like movie theater butter popcorn...it leaves a film in my mouth

I just found out thereÆs no popcorn in popcorn shrimp I guess thereÆs no need to try pot roast.

Q: What does KFC use to make their popcorn chicken...? A: Chicken Colonels.

Q: Which kind of popcorn is paranoid and gets bullied often? A: A salted one.

Q: What do you get with a bag of cinema popcorn? A: Free butterfingers.




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* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)